OUR NAME!
Name is not merely just a name. It’s given for a reason even the simplest name has meaning. Our name is not given to us accidentally; your parent (s) may got those name from their dream too — some word just resonates right! Have you asked your parent(s) why they given you this name? Well I’ve; my name is Grace which means miracle for them as my mom gave birth to me when she was 40 and my dad was 50. Other than that, they wanted me to be gracious too. And my surname, Lesmana, is a common surname in Indonesia and my last name was also become a joke when I was in junior high school. But back in the 1980’s, Grace, wasn’t a common name in Indonesia and I used to hate it. I hated it for simple reason that people can’t pronounced neither written my name properly; instead they called me “gres” or “grass” and written as “gress”
And because of those who misspelled, miscalled pronunciation of my name, I didn’t like it until I’m in Australia. Finally, I remembered, I was so glad, my name is being said correctly. Then, when I lost my identity, I started change my name from Grace into Gracy then into Ms.Gie. Yes, these are nicknames, but at the same time becomes my identity. People started to call me with nicknames and as I’m used to it, I’m also forgetting that my name is Grace not Gracy. I became uncomfortable when they called me Grace.
Of course nicknames are not bad; it’s a special name (trademark) for our close circle; it’s cute until you aren’t longer feeling proud of your real name. Try to call your name and watch your tones. How do you say it? Do you say it loudly but spoken softly? or do you say slowly but with strong enthusiasm? And your feeling after you say them because you should feel some emotions. Whatever emotions you’re feeling, it describes how you feel about yourself, how much you love yourself and how much you are you.
Yes, nicknames are fine, I have nicknames with different groups to make all of us feel “close”, but at the same time we need to make boundaries with our nickname. For years, I enjoyed the nickname of Mz Gie or Mzzz.Gie which simply means Mz from Ms and G stands from Grace but when you say it G sounds like GIE. I feel so comfortable with that nickname that I put them everywhere but not my own name — Grace. But as I change personally as I’m starting to be more confident, I’m more becoming “ me”, I’m loving myself more, then I start to like my full name : Grace Lesmana. Even I’m starting to change my social media’s name into Grace. True, it’s just a name, it’s just a nickname, but somehow :
“ when you lose yourself, when you are far from who you are meant to be, when you don’t appreciate yourself, when you don’t love yourself enough, you will feel ashamed, you will feel small when someone called your own “name”, first/last name and when you tell your name to someone else.
Your name is your pride, your badge. It does not show who you truly are, but name is the foundation of acknowledgement to the world. People remember your act of kindness, or act of disgracefulness with your name attached in it.
Respect your name, pronounce them with confident and say them with love :)
Thank you for reading :)
